Criticism is normal for everyone. To the writer it is part of the path. Writers swim in a sea of thought. Our work is to clarify those thoughts so that we can write something remotely readable and hopefully useful to our readers. That is hard enough by itself. It becomes problematic because everyone has their own inner critic they have to battle every step of the way. The last word is typed and the deed is done. We have taken the work as far as we can. We might be ready for a reader or editor to look at our work or it might be time to publish. Either way we are opening up the doors to external criticism and possible embarrassment.
External criticism can be either good or bad. How we take it and why is the danger . Whenever a writer takes external criticism or embarrassment to heart, we yield control of our minds and our self-worth. Any criticism must be worth it. It must have real value for us and our work. Destructive criticism is less than worthless. We waste precious mental resources and time when our work is governed by unuseful or harmful criticisms.
A writer can control and even eliminate such waste by limiting how open our mindset is when we validate our critics comments. We want to filter those thoughts rather than just accept them. The professional minded writer knows what to take to heart and what to ignore.
Your Critic’s Mind
Often frustrated people say things to vent their own feelings when they are not able to achieve a given goal themselves. A seasoned pro will ignore this prattle. Invalid criticism is only jealousy spit out by someone who cannot achieve the same kind of success they see in others who are busy moving forward. It’s the crabs in the bucket part of life.
Ego driven criticism is far more than just venting. It can lead to crippling mental afflictions that prevent us from attaining many of the life goals we set for ourselves. Such criticism affects everything from our fitness to getting married or advancing in our careers. It is never benign. That is why writers must learn to deal with criticism the right way.
Pro Mindset
The professional writer has developed the mental habit to evaluate all criticism when it is first encountered, then is able react appropriately. This mental shift to filter out harmful criticism is what marks the professional writer’s mindset from the armature writer. A pro writer takes the time to kill off anything that would weaken his efforts.
An excellent place to start is to demystify what we do. When we humble the ego nature of our work, we view it as just work. Writing is no longer some aloof artistic endeavor feeding our personal ego. No longer is it our art, it becomes just works. Work alone brings the creativity and validity we seek. In this way the critic’s opinions cannot hurt personally because the work itself provides the only validity that is needed. When work is no longer part of us we can more easily see if a given criticism is harmful or useful to the work itself without feelings of personal pain hindering our vision.
Pro Process
The writer who wants to develop the professional mindset uses a tough minded frame of reference. He banishes both hate and hope from the work. The only thought is to advance on his goal. It is very much the same mindset that the warrior poet Archilochus had in mind.
“Be brave, my heart. Plant your feet and square your shoulders to the enemy. Meet him among the man-killing spears. Hold your ground. In victory do not brag; in defeat, do not weep.”
Archilochous reminds us to not act reflexively with emotion like pride, fear or anger. We are encouraged to control and govern our emotional reactions with positive action. Do not to take the spears as personal attacks. A developed mind will not allow space for any outside influence to rule in their stead.
Criticism Do Not’s
Do not allow the negative influence of critics to break your belief in the value of your work. That road will only fritter away your time in anger instead of work. You will get zero writing done looking to prove anything to a critic. Do not justify anything or try to find reason, even in your own mind. It’s a trap. Just keep your mind on your current shot. Let those criticisms flow past.
Any kind negative emotional response needs to be shot down. The criticism is not a sign or some kind of judgment of the gods either. Also not allowed are feelings that something is out to unjustly get you be it god and heaven or just karma. That is just your critic using those outside influencers to reinforce its efforts. Ignore them.
What to Do’s
Remember you are the sovereign supreme in the moment. No blow or act from outside you can stop your focused action in the moment. Your job is to do the work before you. It remains in your power to do that work no matter what some outside voice has judged you, your work or anything else.
Remain compassionate with yourself. The writer defines his own reality. Other realities do not matter in your process.
Steven Pressfield
“Tomorrow morning the critic will be gone, but the writer will still be there facing the blank page. Nothing matters that you keep working. Short of a family crisis or the outbreak of World War III, the professional shows up, ready to serve the gods.” The War of Art, pg. 92-93
A professional mindset uses only the writer’s personal opinion to evaluate the value of his work and himself. As writers we must draw that value from the higher self instead of the ego or other outside sources. Our inner critic uses the negative feedback from those other sources to stall and end our efforts. Do not give those outside voice power to validate you or your work.
A helpful outside critique of any work seeks first to improve you, the work or both. That is valid and valuable. Any criticism that only finds faults with you, your work or both is a clear message that you are dealing with a destructive voice. Ignore it.
Writers Ignore Critics
Criticism can be a tool to improve our lives, or it can be a destructive force. The more common criticism is envy driven.
What makes even driven criticism so damaging is that the critics’ voices get in the mind. Once there our brain just does what it normally does. It allows those thoughts to join our mental conversation without editing them. Over time those negative thoughts weaken your efforts to advance. It’s helpful to remember that critics are just another monkey trying to set up shop that master mediators have long advised us to ignore. Those voices in your head are cunning and pernicious. They will do anything to shut you down with the “facts”. Without any effort on our part to purge such things, we find ourselves believing those “facts”.
The envy driven criticism is deadly for anyone. The writer must endeavor to recognize it immediately so that it does not setup house in his brain. Know that the critic is actually just spewing vitriol at the very thing he hates more than anything else, someone doing what he lacks the courage and tenacity to do himself.
How to recognize envy
So how to we know we are dealing with vitriol instead of a real effort to help us? The first step is to listen actively. Don’t just passively accept any advice, including what I am saying here. You need to weigh whether or not to follow the advice. Criticism can be painful, embarrassing or make you mad. Get to know what helpful criticism is and what the motivation of the person we are getting the critique from.
Motivation is the major determiner. Every case is different but in general I have found to ask questions about the critique and what the person is trying to do.
Helpful criticism
While someone may comment on a painful point, a really helpful critic will also seek to give you an answer to solve the problem they are talking about. I have found that most honest and open critics might even be a little more harsh because they favor a clear concise and direct approach. A CCD approach is not an excuse to be rude or destructive or personal. In the Marines, I have gotten such straight talk. It is not an uncommon thing. It did take the wind out of my own ego driven sails. That’s not a bad thing. It was never personal, all behavior. Sometimes that’s how we learn how to fix those things we did not even know we needed to fix.
Constructive critics are also likely to ask you lots of questions to understand your point of view to help them make useful suggestions before they comment. Even if they are working on instinct with no knowledge of exactly how to correct the problem, a constructive critic is likely to tell you it’s a feeling or hunch of what works and what does not. They do not claim some great understanding. This gut criticism can help you make better choices for what to change. Useful critics are often humble in their approach because their desire is to help and not feed their egos.
Egocentric comments are often brought from a omniscient position. All knowing all seeing. You are laid to waste with no chance of redemption.
Respect
Your level of respect for the person is also a great indicator of whether to give the guidance any credit. If the critique is from someone you know and respect who is more skilled than you, you likely are being helped. It’s worth it to spend some time getting their feedback on how to go about fixing things. By corollary, someone you do not respect is often mired in their own self interested failures, so they will lash out at you just to vent some of their bile at you.
Criticism is not about you
One of the most important things to note about any criticism is that you are never the topic. Constructive criticism is always about the idea or the action, not about the person. As such you learn not just what is wrong, but also why they think it’s wrong and what they think you can do about it. Again constructive criticism strives to help build you with some suggestions they think can help. It is almost always more of a suggestion than some kind of sage omniscient command. Constructive criticism often aims at try encouraging you to try again and keep going.
Destructive envy driven critics often put the blame for the problem on you as a personal flaw. The issue is explained vague terms as a problem. You can even be advised to quit rather than be humiliated further. If you pay attention you might even see how this builds them up, at least in their own eyes.
What to do about criticism
There are literally a whole list of questions you could use to evaluate any criticism you might ever come across. However, one of the best methods I have run across is to ask yourself: “Will the change make your life better or just validate the critic’s point of view?” If you will be better, implement the change. If it only gives credit to the critic, ignore it.
I have found this question very useful. A truly helpful person is not really getting anything out of their help other than having helped another person. An ego driven critic is just feeding his ego.
One last criticism point.
No matter the type of advice you receive, it is always best to keep your emotions out of it. Avoid trying to be defensive or getting angry. Remember you are the gate keeper. You decide whether the criticism is valid or not. The control here is yours. This allows you to be gracious, so remember your manners and say thank you. Don’t forget to have some compassion for them too. This is kind to the person trying to be helpful. It is infuriating for the critic trying to level you. Either way you win.
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash